Thoughts of a Trickster
by NeonGhost8
Summary: As he feel into oblivion, all Loki had was reflection.


A/N: So I've been absent from FFNet for a while, kinda just popping in every so often to check on my stories that I follow and if my stories had gotten any notices. When _Thor_(2011) came out though, I took an interest and wanted to see what the fanfiction looked like and I liked what I saw. It also inspired me to write this fanfic. Yes iam aware that I have two other unfinished stories and I apologize. Without further ado, this one shot song-fic based on Loki.

Disclaimer: All rights to the production of the song _Oblivion _belong to Mastodon and Chrysalis Songs Obo Trampled Under Hoof Music Inc. _Thor_ belongs to Marvel and I do not own any thing but my computer and this fanfic.

Thoughts of a fallen Trickster

He and Thor had just tumbled over the edge of the Bifrost, his lighter weight making him fly all that easier and be sucked quicker into the oblivion formally known as the portal between worlds. Just when it seemed that both he and Thor would be sucked into nothingness, the Allfather Odin had Thor in a tight grip. Loki couldn't help but notice in bitterness that the only reason he was saved was the fact that Thor had latched onto him last second.

Loki looked pass Thor's pleading face into that of his psuedo fathers, Odin, and was reduced to the lost child that had always lived within him.

_Flew beyond the sun before it was time_

_Burning all the gold that held me inside my shell_

_Waiting for you to pull me back in_

_I almost sat the world in my sights_

And all that he found there was dissapointment, betrayal and _rejection_. The rejection hit the soul of his immortal being and he felt the sting acutely, a few tears torn from his eyes at both the tiredness and wind that hit his heart. The silvertounge felt words bubble in his throat and before he could stop it, the child within him screamed to the All father "I COULD'VE DONE IT, FATHER!," Loki already knew that this "I COULD HAVE DONE IT! FOR YOU! FOR ALL OF US!" Then Odin gazed calmly upon him, no mercy in his eye and piercing into a heart that already felt like it was on the borderline, and simply said," No, Loki."

Loki could feel his face fall, and was able to tear his eyes away to his brothers face who had been trying to pull him back in. In a moment he saw the dynamics of his life, Odin holding both sons but truly only ever saving one. The other left to dangle half in the light of Asgard, half in an unmeasurable darkness.

_Close, low bright eyes fading_

_Faster than stars falling_

_How can i tell you that i failed?_

_Tell you i failed_

So he had let go, accepting that he belonged in that darkness. He paid no heed to the anguished calling of his name by Thor and let weightlessness take him further down still.

_Fallen from grace cause i've been away too long_

_Leaving you behind with my lonesome song_

_Now i'm lost in oblivion_

It became harder to see the deeper he fell into the wormhole and he could sense something was different than the other trips he had taken using this way. The energies were turmulous and unsure and tearing at the very fiber of his being. Different parts of his body becoming singed and a sort of burning paralyzation overcame him. As his subconcious filtered in and out, trying make sense of the pain, the burning brought forth a memory from his childhood-

_The All-father had taken his sons when they were children to the mountains that lay north of Asgard for their first hunt. Loki had hated to be torn from his studies just to kill some unsuspecting animal whilst Thor was always excited to show off his ever growing strength. They had been instructed to set up nests in different parts of the forest and to hunt on their own. They would then present their kills to Odin at sundown._

_But as the day went on, it became colder and colder. The cold had never affected Loki, something he would like to attribute to strength and willpower but deep down knew differently. He had set up camp in the North-East side while Thor the North-west. He had set out to hunt at noon but as soon as he stepped out into the whipping snow, a tingle overcame him. Then, it happened._

_Blue started at his finger tips, a deep, rich color, and spread under his furs and it clawed up his neck and finally on to his face. Despite it being all over, he could only stare at his hands. So, he dug into the ground to hide them. Soon enough, he found himself digging into the hard ground, trying to scrape the blue off to get back to the pale peach skin he was sure was underneath._

_I tried to bore a hole into the ground_

_Breaking all the fingers and nails from my hands_

_The eyes of the child see no wrong_

_Ignorant bliss in_

Loki smiled a delirious smile when he remembered how the All-father had found him, curled up on the snow with his bloodied hands dripping and staining the pure white snow underneath and the blue having finally receeded. Odin had looked upon him not with confusion but with an odd sort of understanding. Loki understood that look now because his father had seen and he had known, known Loki's confusion and pain and decided to do nothing about it.

_Close, low bright eyes fading_

_Faster than stars falling_

_How can i tell you that i failed?_

_Tell you i failed_

There was a certain irony in that Loki would only be able to see, in a sequence, the events that had led up to this point and now could do nothing to turn time back. For all his spells and quest for power, power over his life still eluded him and he realized that perhapes the pain had unlocked something in him. He had spread himself thin over so many things in his life; trying to be the perfect son, equal to Thor, worthy prince of Asgard, Scholar, and himself.

_Fallen from grace cause i've been away too long_

_Leaving you behind with my lonesome song_

_Now i'm lost_

_Fallen from grace cause i've been away too long _

_Leaving you behind with my lonesome song_

_Now i'm lost in oblivion_

Before concious finally left him, before all the light in the wormhole left him and took him his unknown destination, he remembered something he had once read and had never understood until now.

'Being lost is so close to being found.'

_Fallen from grace cause i've been away too long_

_Leaving you behind with my lonesome song_

_Now i'm lost_

_Fallen from grace cause i've been away too long_

_Leaving behind my lonesome song_

_Now i'm lost in oblivion_


End file.
